The fairest of them all....

It is no secret how being fair is supposed to be beautiful in India. In fact the mad race to be fair and ahem, lovely is a huge phenomenon all over Asia, with the fairness products industry lapping up billions and billions of dollars. The colour of my skin has never been an issue for me personally and neither has it affected the way I look at myself, nor is it a factor I take into consideration when worrying about the way I look; but I see it all the time in people I know, people I love and generally us as a society. And it bothers me. A lot.

Being towards the fairer end of the Indian skin colour spectrum, my skin was commented on, a lot of the times with people saying how great it is that I am so 'gori'. As a child I didn't really get what the fuss was about and now as an adult it bothers me because in saying someone is attractive just because they are fair is saying someone with a darker skin colour is thereby less so. A few years back I came back from a holiday super tanned and happy (I love a holiday tan, it is like the best kind of souvenir :) ) and someone commented on how I had “lost my complexion” . I remember thinking really, did my 'complexion' just get up, go for a walk and forget how to get back home.

Growing up I do remember the famous pink and white tubes (I'm sure you know what I'm talking about) in the homes of my friends. I had one too, because at the time it was the one cream that didn’t make my hormonal teenage skin break out and was one of the very few that had sunscreen. But for many of these girls it represented hope in a tube. An idea, if you will, that being fairer will make them that much more beautiful. That they needed to lighten their gorgeous dusky complexions to be more attractive.

Says who, you ask? Societal norms and cultural beliefs about skin colour abound in this country and the insane pharma and beauty industries and their advertising campaigns perpetuate it. All the time. As do the supposedly well meaning aunties & uncles who love commenting on it. I don't think you can watch TV nowadays without at least one ad for a fairness product. Because heaven forbid we land a dream job, get married or brim with self confidence with darker skin! A couple of years back I remember watching an ad for a feminine hygiene wash that not so subtly hinted at how you can be happier and have more 'intimacy' if your lady bits were fairer. I mean seriously! “I wish her vagina and private parts were fairer” I think said no man (or woman) in the throes of passion ever!!

Of course being of lighter complexion would also mean that we get better marital prospects and a booming new career, or so they would have us believe. Seeing super stars from film-dom and sports fraternities endorsing fairness products for men and women and saying it is a way to enhance your life is just ugh. Not to mention the airbrushed and photo-shopped magazine covers that lighten the skin of gorgeous men and women, who anyway are meant to be the sometimes unrealistic paragons of beauty.

Friends of mine with darker skin have been told as kids and as adults to make sure they don't get more tanned or have heard comments like how they would be so much more attractive if they were a little bit lighter. Not directly sometimes but yes, people are intrusive and people can be cruel. Conversely a friend of mine was once told as a young teen that the only reason she was attractive or boys like her is because she was so fair, or else she would be nothing. What message are we sending out?! 

pictures courtesy the talented kevin pereira - https://www.flickr.com/photos/kevinpereira/

 

Like I have mentioned before, what you do with your body, or skin in this instance, is your business. If it means that fairness is important to you then it is your preference and we all have the right to choose what matters to us. But to push this belief on to someone else or make a disparaging remark when someone else doesn't fit your idea of attractiveness, more so when you are talking to a child, is just shameful.

As a country we range in shapes, forms, sizes and colours and the diversity is awe inspiring. From the milky whites to the deliciously dusky to deep,dark chocolate, I hope you feel great in whatever skin you are in. And let others feel great in theirs.