Invisible Capes...

There are things in life which make you feel absolutely fabulous... ones we forget to appreciate in the daily grind of making a living or living a life which we might think is getting increasingly mundane. It could be something simple or some grand scheme that you have been working toward... but oh, how great certain things make you feel! Have you had a day or a moment where you felt like a super hero? :) What is it that gets your blood pumping or senses tingling and makes you feel powerful, even if for a brief moment?

I'll start with simple examples and something physical. As some of my friends know, because I can't stop talking about it, is that I've started belly dancing classes. And even though it is for nothing else but fun, I feel like a sensuous, feminine dynamo by the time I (usually quite ungracefully) finish class. And if I had a superhero cape at that moment it would be a silky purple one flowing behind me jingling with bells and coins, with my body being my glorious secret weapon ;)

Similarly, I feel immensely powerful and at ease with my body when I do yoga. Small progresses, a little more flexibility and a better session feels like an accomplishment. Or when I get to the gym and complete a workout, I know I have at least for that day kicked my lazy bum into doing something good for myself. I am my own little superhero.

When it comes to the mental and emotional, nothing quite makes me feel as powerful as writing something I think is worthwhile. This has less to do with the writing I do for work and mostly when I write for myself. If I nail a story I've wanted to write or even just a great paragraph, I am ecstatic. For that moment while my cape encrypted with words from literary greats unfurls, my pen shines like a sword in the moonlight! :)

Sometimes it is even the sheer pleasure of watching someone else have a victory or blissful moment of their own! I remember when I was volunteering with an organisation that provided informal education for children from the slums, there was a little boy in my group, who although not the best at academics, was an amazing little budding artist. He drew this great drawing and when I told him how good he was and asked him to do a picture for me to take home, he blossomed right before my eyes. In that moment his smile encompassed his entire face and his pride shone through and made me smile wide as well. It was amazing to see and an honour to be part of someone else's superhero moment.

It could be because you nailed a work-out or aced a presentation at work; it could be a moment when you taught someone or yourself something new or had a victory from something you have been busting your butt for... it could be anything that for a moment in time made you feel amazing. You may not imagine an invisible cape fluttering in the breeze like I crazily do, but have you had a superhero moment this week?

Would love to hear from you :) 

Oh Baby!

Part I

There are a few things that I would imagine alter your perception of your body and actually change so many aspects of it like pregnancy and motherhood. The physical and emotional changes are massive and something I really wanted to write about. Considering I have no first-hand experience myself I reached out to many amazing friends and asked them to share their story in their words , (anonymously if they chose) and it was great to see people open up in total honesty about the good and the not so good! I have received such honest feedback that I want to showcase as many as I can and will make this a multi-post topic. Thank you, you lovely women...

I realise in asking people to share their experiences I'm asking them to share many private moments of their lives and so I decided it's only fair I do the same. A couple years ago, I got pregnant. Although, it was unplanned my ex-husband and I were pretty thrilled. Now in all honesty I wasn't completely sure if motherhood was for me but it still was pretty exciting to know what could be. Unfortunately, we went through an early miscarriage when I was just about 5-6 weeks pregnant. Although it was for the briefest of time, the whole experience sparked a massive turning point in my relationship with my body and my body image. A clear fact was finally driven home – that my body is more than just what it looks like in the mirror. It has other greater purposes, for some that might be becoming a mother, for another that be scaling that mountain peak or finishing a marathon or setting the dance floor on fire. For someone else it could simply be being strong enough to go through an illness. The fact was clear that this body I own is worthy of love because it can do many, many marvellous things other than just fit into a pair of skinny jeans.

As far as pregnancy goes young women are fed on stories of pregnant women endowed with glowing skin and lustrous hair, of how it would be a cake walk and once you had your child you would bounce back immediately in both the physical and emotional sense. Reality sometimes is a little different :) 

Let's hear from the ladies themselves about their physical and emotional journeys -

Preeti's story -

I planned both of mine. It made me feel in control: at least in the beginning of the pregnancies. Once I was a few weeks into the pregnancies, I felt less in control with every passing week. Which is not necessarily a bad thing. It helped me exercise my faith. Exercising my body, was an entirely different story. You feel tired. a lot! This is not a great motivation for keeping fit and the weighing scale keeps showing a bigger number every time you visit the doctor. (The weighing scale in my doctor's office has a little girl's picture above it that says "don't step on it! It'll make you cry!" That's the only thing that makes me smile while I'm standing on it). To console myself, I tell myself my hair weighs about 15 lbs. Even my toddler knows that’s not true

There are some other, pretty awesome things, pregnancy does to you. It fills your heart with more love than you could ever imagine could fit in there, it fills you with enough milk to supply a tiny, small village, if you decided to, you become the best baby monitor ever made: you will wake up when your baby wakes up even before he or she cries. And you’re doing all this while learning a completely new language: baby talk. So it pretty much turns you into a borderline super human. The joy I felt holding my child in my arms for the first time is second to none. Ok, may be second to the joy I felt holding my husband’s hand while dragging him down the aisle on our wedding day. On a serious note though, being a mother has changed my life for the better and by God’s grace, I have never doubted it. I look at my child and am filled with awe at what my body can do. What I can do. What pregnancy did to my body, however, is a slightly different story. Experiencing weight gain during the pregnancy, becoming your ‘heaviest’ ever, going through child birth, and then working towards, hoping and praying for your weight to go back to pre-pregnancy, is a rollercoaster ride I haven’t quite enjoyed or found the slight bit thrilling. Lack of sleep doesn’t help you getting back into shape either. The 2 and a 1/2 minutes that you are finally able to carve out in your day to exercise, seem better spend sleeping, somehow. A mixture of all of this can become quite depressing, if you are not careful. I try to handle it through prayer and surrounding myself with the ‘right’ people. My husband, fortunately, is a wonderful husband and father. Not only is he great with our son, he seems to know (sometimes even before I do) when I need to take some time off for myself to go for a walk, do some reading or just put my feet up. This has really helped me find my bearings as a new mom.

Pregnancy and child birth should, ideally speaking, make you more confident in yourself. But thanks to the size zero adoration that happens all around us, the same pregnancy and child birth can end up making us self-conscious about our bodies and lower our self-esteem. This in turn can keep us from finding and working towards that right balance between a healthy mind and body. Post-partum depression is a very real problem. It is important to go through this experience with an understanding that your body will change. I think the key for me was sharing my heart with my husband, even in the midst of the first few crazy parenting months and surrounding myself with family and friends who understood me (the crazy me) during my pregnancy and helped me get back on my feet after. It worked for me, the first time anyway. I’ll find out, in a few months, if it works the second time around. 

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Ms. Friend's story -

When the hubs and myself found out we were having our little munchkin we were over the moon. Everyone told us how great it was to be a parent, how wonderful everything was going to be!!! What no one ever told us was, I would have terrible morning sickness & heart burn for about 6 months (it was more like all day sickness). It was so weird for someone like me who loved chicken so much; I couldn’t even look at one at the grocery store. We never knew this would happen until hubs & myself were grocery shopping I had one look at the chicken and threw up all over the floor. Gross I know; thankfully the store was kind enough to tell us not to worry and they would clean up.

So my entire pregnancy I never liked any food, they only thing I could keep down was fruits nothing else and I still gained about 35 pounds. I never had glowing skin that everyone talks about. I remember asking my doctor if he had seen skin as horrible as mine.

However apart from all this, we did our entire baby shopping, had amazing baby showers, prepped the house for the baby. What followed next again no one ever told us about. Our little daughter was diagnosed with reflex at day 5 which meant non-stop crying for hours due to her tummy aching, constant spit ups, and naps of not more than 2 hours at a time. There were nights hubs n me would take turns to rock her in our arms which stopped her from spitting up. The first month or two was hell for us, I didn’t enjoy motherhood one bit. Add to that my step grandma who passed away while my mom was with me made it an emotionally draining experience.

No sleep, pain medication, constant spit up, baby crying for hours together what summed up for the first few months till the doctors could figure out what was wrong with her. It was also the most difficult time in our relationship which put so much pressure to everything else that was going on. Think about it this way, two adults with no sleep, a baby crying non stop, a mom who was on her first trip aboard and hated every minute of it, constant opinions of what we should and should not do. But two years down the lane our marriage has stood all of this and we have a beautiful two year old who is full of energy, giggles non stop when her dad hugs or kisses me. In the end I wouldn’t have had it any other way. My little family is compete.

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Thanks so much girls! Would love to hear from anyone out there who would like to share :) 

A nugget from another super funny and talented woman I admire :)

Mindy Kaling

R.E.S.P.E.C.T

We all want to be respected right? Shout it from the rooftops, walk away from people who don't give it to us or strive to earn it from others. What about respecting yourself? The same goes for love and care and the warm fuzzies we so desperately seek from everyone. Everyone but ourselves.

The self respect and love I talk about here may not fit the standard definition of what these words may mean to you. Here it is about loving and respecting your body and mind in the best way you can for yourself. I have finally reached a stage of body image acceptance, for the most part love myself and can honestly say my self esteem is much more solid than it ever was; but I realise it is all incomplete because lately I have been neglecting to respect my body in one hugely important way – taking care of it.

                                               

The past year has been tough. Emotionally a mine field with super high highs and very low lows. The end of a marriage, the start of a new life, loss of people I truly loved and gaining intriguing new experiences too. While I have been absolutely super at taking care of my emotional health, my physical health has been pushed aside and how. I try and challenge myself creatively and intellectually but physically errrm … not so much. I indulged my every possible indulgence and have gone from one extreme to another in terms of what gives me pleasure, whether it was good for me or not.

I do that. I know I'm prone to extremes when it comes to taking care of my body. It has been a binge and purge cycle. And now I can feel the after effects! I also openly admit that I am lazy and a complete hedonist so I realise that I have been looking at this the wrong way. Therefore, am beginning to retrain myself to acknowledge that respecting my body by treating it better with things like exercise for example is not a punishment, it is a pleasure. A pleasure to feel your body move and do things better and better. And yes even a pleasure to bite into that piece of chocolate after. A pleasure to be able to be still healthy enough to do these things in the first place! It is a slow process but it is a start :) For you it might be a different journey; you might be fabulous at taking care of your psychical health but struggle with the emotional or need to remind yourself to take a breather every now and then. We all respect yourselves in different ways or don't for that matter.

I personally want to respect my body in a more wholistic way not only because of wanting to look better but so I FEEL better. This includes curtailing certain things I know aren't the best for me, moving more, challenging myself and fuelling myself better. AND continue to love myself for who and what I am, wobbly bits and all.

Whether it's about the body or the soul, I know there will be days when we fail spectacularly. Fall flat on our faces and wonder if it's all worth it. Remind yourself as I plan to - that it is, it always is. Respect and love yourself enough to pick up, dust off and move on and not bash yourself up every time you falter. Find a balance that makes you happy and feels authentic to you.

If there is anything this past year has taught me, it is that I am far stronger and more amazing than I think ;) It is time to respect and love myself in different ways to enjoy just that!

Are you making changes to the way you think? What does self respect or self care mean to you?

:)

Got to love Tina Fey!

Between the Sheets...

Foreword : Let me just start off by saying that if you are uncomfortable about reading or talking about subjects related to sex or physical intimacy, this would be a good time to stop reading this particular post! However, let me just say it is not graphic but just my take on how your body image and intimacy issues can collide.

It took me a while to start writing this post, not because I think sex is 'taboo' but the fact that most people don't really want to look at the naked truth (pun intended). But what made me finally write about it is the fact that what is deemed to be dirty and unspeakable is possible one of the purest forms of pleasure between two consenting adults and the reason we live in this highly populated country in the first place! The older we get or the more sexually active we get (presumably), the more I hear and see about how our relationship with our bodies and how we feel about our appearance has a huge impact on our intimate lives. This is something I assume a lot if not most of us have grappled with over the years. Remember the old funny line to put off sex that went “honey I have a headache” or are you more familiar with “not tonight honey I feel bloated or my love handles look like they got a bit too much love”?!

                                             

Being insecure or not confident about yourself affects nearly every aspect of our lives, from the personal to the professional. Physical intimacy is one of those areas. A lot of people assume that women are more prey to this kind of insecurity; well, studies suggest that it is pretty much across the board and men are equally susceptible to problems in the bedroom arising due to a negative body image and manifests itself regardless of sexual preference. It is sad that we often don't love ourselves enough to get the loving we want! 

Often how we feel about ourselves is in relation to attracting a partner. So let's just assume that if you are in a position to be intimate with someone means that the two of you have already crossed that hurdle and are indeed attracted to each other. So why then do we let self consciousness become the death knell of what can be a mutually satisfying and fun experience? Research has shown and well if we are all being honest here we don't need research to tell us, that negative thoughts or hang ups about your body affects men and women both in terms of the frequency, experience and performance so to speak between the sheets. Fixating on whether your tummy or thighs look too big or wondering if your biceps look pumped enough or whether your 'assets' are awesome enough, whether you have too much cellulite...the list can go on and on. It sadly just takes away from the desire that drives us into that position in the first place.

And however the insecurity manifests itself it has a lot more to do with self confidence than your actual physical attributes. Less to do with how you actually are and more with your perception of yourself I would say. And all it does is take away from the fun. Worrying or feeling a little self conscious with a new partner is pretty natural I would think but it even affects people who have been together years and still don't feel comfortable being with their long term partner except under the rosy cloak of darkness or on days they feel 'perfect'. If your body is always a source of anxiety, you rob yourself of the fact that it is also a source of immense pleasure.

A feeling of inadequacy not only kills the intimacy once you are in the bedroom (or wherever floats your boat) but also prevents you from meeting and opening yourself up to people in the first place. And later this negative self image is also related to sexual dysfunction, more unsafe sex and fewer orgasms. And don't you think life is just way too short for that?!

No matter what you consider attractive, self loathing is always a downer. To feel truly sexy in your own skin can be immensely liberating. And confidence is always a big turn on! 

Suffocating Stereotypes & Baseless Biases

ste·reo·type

transitive verb \ˈster-ē-ə-ˌtīp, ˈstir-\
: to believe unfairly that all people or things with a particular characteristic are the same

bi·ased

adjective \ˈbī-əst\
: having or showing a bias : having or showing an unfair tendency to believe that some people, ideas, etc., are better than others

 

The image above is pretty striking. In an article published once in Glamour magazine, (from which this image is taken) it said how women judge each other based on appearance. How say an overweight person is more likely to be construed as being lazy and sloppy or someone slim is thought of being bitchy or superficial. They conducted a poll and asked people to respond to pictures of women of varying sizes and the responses were amazing – harsh stereotyping existed for both fat and thin people.

This is just one of the examples about how a person's appearance leads people to make make snap judgements. If not a judgement then create their own perception of the person in the given situation, if you will. We have all done it. Men and women. Consciously and sub-consciously. And I'm not just talking about weight but also other factors like height, the clothes you wear etc. In the spirit of honesty I must confess on occasion when I see someone wearing a lot of make-up my first thought has been 'high maintenance' or think that they are trying too hard. Is it true, probably not. Is it right, nope. Is it any of my business, definitely not! It is none of ours.

We find stereotypes all the time in fairytales (the good plump fairy vs. a thin mean witch), in movies (with the short guy being the sidekick) and of course the all pervading race stereotypes and much more like people who are extremely muscle laden are often thought of as thick in the head too, attractive women as considered dumb etc. I was once told by someone that they thought that I was pretty and smarter than I look – said with a look of surprise. .

picture - daily mail uk

While general perceptions take place all the time and we are all entitled to our thoughts, it becomes immensely damaging and unfair in certain situations like employment and the work-place for example. Studies show that when interviewing candidates, employers are often likely to pick potential employees based on their perception of attractiveness; for example with two possible candidates having the same experience and educational qualifications the one who is slimmer is more likely to be picked. In fact they might be paid more as well! It is also seen that taller people are picked more over those who are shorter and are often promoted to more authoritative positions and again paid more. Shorter people are also dismissed more easily or treated in a more child-like manner.

While lines may be blurry and maybe not always on a conscious level, it cannot be denied that we as a society are basing people's capabilities, intelligence, social skills and so much more based on their appearance.

What is even worse is that this bias is extended to kids as well. Studies have shown that teachers do sometimes favour kids who are more 'attractive', think they have more potential and even give them better grades. I once had a teacher who had her favourite in class; a charming very popular kid who got away with a lot more than anyone else could. Which would have still been okay, but the teacher used to encourage this kid to make fun of another girl in our class and the way she talked in front of everyone and laughed as he did so! A more nondescript and quiet kid who wouldn't have complained of course. I remember being horrified as a 13 year old thinking you are our teacher for heaven's sake! But I digress...

Slob, conceited, weak, mean, powerful ….. the labels abound. The stereotypes and biases abound. We make a lot of judgements based on a person's appearance. Do you think there is a way to combat this? Or is it another frustrating thing we have to suck up and should chalk up to human behaviour? Have you faced it or is it something you admit to doing far more often than you should?

The fairest of them all....

It is no secret how being fair is supposed to be beautiful in India. In fact the mad race to be fair and ahem, lovely is a huge phenomenon all over Asia, with the fairness products industry lapping up billions and billions of dollars. The colour of my skin has never been an issue for me personally and neither has it affected the way I look at myself, nor is it a factor I take into consideration when worrying about the way I look; but I see it all the time in people I know, people I love and generally us as a society. And it bothers me. A lot.

Being towards the fairer end of the Indian skin colour spectrum, my skin was commented on, a lot of the times with people saying how great it is that I am so 'gori'. As a child I didn't really get what the fuss was about and now as an adult it bothers me because in saying someone is attractive just because they are fair is saying someone with a darker skin colour is thereby less so. A few years back I came back from a holiday super tanned and happy (I love a holiday tan, it is like the best kind of souvenir :) ) and someone commented on how I had “lost my complexion” . I remember thinking really, did my 'complexion' just get up, go for a walk and forget how to get back home.

Growing up I do remember the famous pink and white tubes (I'm sure you know what I'm talking about) in the homes of my friends. I had one too, because at the time it was the one cream that didn’t make my hormonal teenage skin break out and was one of the very few that had sunscreen. But for many of these girls it represented hope in a tube. An idea, if you will, that being fairer will make them that much more beautiful. That they needed to lighten their gorgeous dusky complexions to be more attractive.

Says who, you ask? Societal norms and cultural beliefs about skin colour abound in this country and the insane pharma and beauty industries and their advertising campaigns perpetuate it. All the time. As do the supposedly well meaning aunties & uncles who love commenting on it. I don't think you can watch TV nowadays without at least one ad for a fairness product. Because heaven forbid we land a dream job, get married or brim with self confidence with darker skin! A couple of years back I remember watching an ad for a feminine hygiene wash that not so subtly hinted at how you can be happier and have more 'intimacy' if your lady bits were fairer. I mean seriously! “I wish her vagina and private parts were fairer” I think said no man (or woman) in the throes of passion ever!!

Of course being of lighter complexion would also mean that we get better marital prospects and a booming new career, or so they would have us believe. Seeing super stars from film-dom and sports fraternities endorsing fairness products for men and women and saying it is a way to enhance your life is just ugh. Not to mention the airbrushed and photo-shopped magazine covers that lighten the skin of gorgeous men and women, who anyway are meant to be the sometimes unrealistic paragons of beauty.

Friends of mine with darker skin have been told as kids and as adults to make sure they don't get more tanned or have heard comments like how they would be so much more attractive if they were a little bit lighter. Not directly sometimes but yes, people are intrusive and people can be cruel. Conversely a friend of mine was once told as a young teen that the only reason she was attractive or boys like her is because she was so fair, or else she would be nothing. What message are we sending out?! 

pictures courtesy the talented kevin pereira - https://www.flickr.com/photos/kevinpereira/

 

Like I have mentioned before, what you do with your body, or skin in this instance, is your business. If it means that fairness is important to you then it is your preference and we all have the right to choose what matters to us. But to push this belief on to someone else or make a disparaging remark when someone else doesn't fit your idea of attractiveness, more so when you are talking to a child, is just shameful.

As a country we range in shapes, forms, sizes and colours and the diversity is awe inspiring. From the milky whites to the deliciously dusky to deep,dark chocolate, I hope you feel great in whatever skin you are in. And let others feel great in theirs.

The Beauty & Humour of Genetic Make-up

                                                       mom & dad

We inherit all kinds of characteristics from our parents, grand parents and so on, either thanks to nature or nurture. With things like the colour of our skin or eyes and yes even personality traits that often arise in part due to our genetic make-up or family environment, mom and dad are blamed or celebrated for a number of things. :)

Although I know biology, genetics, family dynamics etc. and all that good stuff is amazing and often amazingly messy, I still love seeing commonly shared characteristics within families and experiencing a sense of marvel. It is pretty damn awesome!

There are definitely traits I wish I hadn't inherited, like the propensity to gain weight (thanks dad!) , but there are tons of other things I cherish and laugh at because I can see the source when I look at my parents or grand parents. And there are things you see in your siblings that you wish had been passed down to you as well – my brother's beautiful brown eyes and awesome singing voice come to mind - our paternal grand-mom Aie was a superb singer – whereas I got her super sensitive skin :)

Somehow the older I get, the more I love finding out about the commonalities. And seeing little bits of people passed on in various ways scattered across families, feels like another link and tie. Like for example in the picture of maternal grand-parents below, my grand-dad looks exactly like a mix of two of my cousin brothers!

                                                   nana & nanima

So instead of whining about things we may have inherited and don't like, today I want to celebrate the quirks and characteristics that we seem to have gotten from our families, both physical and not. Because a lot of them make us who we are. Off the top of my head, here's my list -

1. My mother's 'glass half full' outlook. Mom is so positive about most things and I seem to have gotten a little bit of that sunshine from her. Try as I may, and I really did during an angst ridden teenage poet phase, I can't ever be overly cynical. I have also heard of how my nanima, my mother's mother, was just like that and I can see that quality in both my mom's sisters are as well.

2. My dad's ability to zone out. Dad and I both tend to drift off into our own worlds, and stay there for a while quite happily. Although, dad often does this when he is working on something new and I'm just a perpetual day-dreamer, it means that we are both happy with our own company.

3. Being a good listener. Both mom and dad are great listeners and often the 'go-to' person for friends and family. My friends tell me I have some of that too and that makes me very happy.

4. My crooked front teeth. Now these I really disliked at one point and thought about braces, until I realised that dad has exactly the same overlap and the same shaped two front teeth. Now whenever I see them in the mirror or in a photo I think of my daddy. And it makes me smile some more, every single time.

5. My face. Not because of whether I think it is attractive or not, but because I look so much like either of my parents at different times! I look like me and yet like them, sometimes I look totally Maharashtrian (dad) or very Bohri-ish (mom) and I am a sum of their parts.

                                                                     aie & bapu

How about giving a shout-out to your gene pool?! Trust me, it makes you look at yourself in a totally different light. Write to me with lists of your own :)

The Ugly Duckling

I thought I would begin with this post and it wasn't easy. I decided to lay old vulnerabilities bare because it can be immensely powerful and might strike a chord in a lot of people. Most of us have heard about the fairy tale about the ugly duckling - a little baby bird born among ducks and derided for his lack of “beauty”. As he grows up he eventually realises he is actually a gorgeous swan and is so awesome in his own very way. It is a sweet tale of personal transformation and realising your true beauty as you see in your reflection, rather than peeping into someone else's mirror.

I think for me just before puberty hit and the age where you actually start really noticing how you look was the downward spiral in a sense. It fostered years of comparison and an 'ugly duckling' complex so to speak. My parents and family always thought I was beautiful and emphasised other important things like academics or all my passions (my love for drama had them sitting through many a crazy home production or a voracious reading habit that resulted in huge library fees!). So it was definitely something I inculcated within myself.

The thing is I was surrounded by such gorgeous women. Girls they were then. My cousins. In my eyes I would and could never match up to what I thought were the characteristics that made them beautiful and me not. One had never-ending eyelashes and the skin of a doll, another amazing legs that spoke of the awesome athlete she was and a big, bright smile and another had an itty-bitty waist and a super attractive face. The list was miles long and I never seemed to have anything that featured on that prized list. I love these girls tremendously and probably that made it a little bit harder back then. Because for me, no matter what, they were beautiful. And in my eyes I always seemed a little less pretty, a little less graceful, a little less worthy.... always a little less.

It wasn't just the baby fat or what I thought were nondescript features; I wish I could have told myself that maybe they sparkled a little bit more because I was letting my sparkle be corroded by a constant insecurity. I wish I could have told myself to swim more, act in more plays, sing more and just be more without worrying that I didn't match up. And it so saddens me when I see young girls or boys doing exactly the same disservice to themselves. And of course, some of us well into womanhood and manhood with siblings, friends and peers. It is so damn easy to fall into the comparison trap and even easier to feel like you come out at the bottom.

Self acceptance takes a while and it is a continuing process. But it is essential to grow and evolve and move away from that negativity to truly feel ourselves and grow into our own. My cousins and friends are still the most gorgeous women I've seen and I think I'm surrounded by some amazingly lovely women, inside and out. But just as I will never have those legs or that waist, neither will they have my mad wavy hair or a butt that doesn't quit :) . I may not be able to even manage to hit the ball on a tennis court, but I can write a succinct line or two (or so I choose to believe)!

We are all special. We are all beautiful. We all have quirks and characteristics that make us us. We all need to stop looking into someone else's mirror. If we all looked and acted just the same, it would be a very boring world indeed!

Have you had an ugly duckling moment or phase? Or is there someone if your life you wish would realise how uniquely amazing they are?

I decided to start this blogging journey to delve deeper into the broad aspects of body image issues that affect most or many of us at different points in our lives, sometimes even unconsciously. It is definitely not a how-to and by no means am I a professional or medical expert; just a woman who has battled with issues of her own! And I definitely don't want to preach to anyone doing what they can to better themselves or “improve” as they see fit. Just a platform to share what I may have personally gone through or seen in people around me over the years. A little reminder if you will, that often we are perfect – just as we are ; or at the very least are deserving of love and respect from ourselves.

It is pretty much impossible nowadays to watch TV or flip through a magazine without being constantly bombarded with what we should look like or feel like. Weight, height, skin colour, glossy manes, perky boobs, buns of steel...the list goes on and on. Sometimes we all need to take a step back and stop the hating! It just seems like we are all way too quiet about something that really seeps into so many different aspects of our lives. It is time to start an open and honest dialogue.

I plan to open up about certain home truths about myself too on here...so please be kind :) I would love to share stories about other people’s battles or victories with body image problems as well; so please feel free to share and you can be as anonymous as you like. I would love it to be a safe haven where we can talk and share, with only encouragement and no judgement. Who knows where this can take us? A point of self acceptance would be a great place for starters!

And if even one of you reading or sharing feels a little better about yourself or simply realises that you are not alone – well, mission accomplished!

Welcome to Size Hero!